schizofrenia

I have been lonely,

With thoughts,

That weren’t mine,

Though not yours.

My head keeps spinning,

Words and thoughts, and talks,

Take over my body,

My mind.

It has been so hard,

This long everlasting journey,

That just wont be different,

Within a few days.

I have been wondering,

Searching, hoping,

For an endless night,

With big dreams.

A better world,

A better place to live,

Signs that give me hope,

So these thoughts go away.

They are dark,

They are grey,

They are messing with my mind,

It has come to know, a name.

Schizophrenia.

It comes to this.

This long journey ahead,

Is more then I can carry,

All my thoughts searching for answers,

That just wont come.

I need a peace of heart,

That only he can give  me,

It is more then I can handle,

But I need to know.

What is it about love,

That woman or men don’t get,

It is hard tough and most of all, beautiful,

It wont be hurt.

Love is always patient,

Cause it never rushes into something,

Love is always enjoyable,

Cause it gives laughter and hopes.

The dreams I’ve had,

Were not at all that bad,

Cause it gave me strength,

For the unknown.

It comes to a point,

Which love will never see through,

But it gives dreams to the needy,

It comes to this.

©Amanda De Ruijter.

Sadness in her eyes!

Wondering where it comes from,

Wondering how long it takes,

To just be myself again,

The sadness in her eyes.

It is more then it should ever be,

To be more then she is,

Makes her become weaker,

Then she should ever be.

She knows how hard,

But she still can’t fight it,

She must, she must put it on,

The dress of her past.

But you can see the sadness in her eyes,

When she thinks about the past,

When she thinks about her self,

She knows more then she has to.

The past hunting her,

Drifting her emotions away,

But still you can see,

The sadness in her eyes.

©Amanda De Ruijter.